Not long ago, on the south pacific Islands of
Micronesia, a seventeen year old boy named Sima got into an argument with his
father. He was staying with his family at his grandfather’s house when his
father- a stern and demanding man- ordered him out of bed one morning and told
him to find a bamboo pole-knife to harvest breadfruit. Sima spent hours in the
village, looking without success for a pole knife, and when he returned
empty-handed his father was furious. The family would now go hungry, he told
his son waiving a machete in rage. “Get out of here and go find somewhere else
to live.
Sima left his grandfather’s house and walked back to
his home village. Along the way he ran into his fourteen-year old brother and
borrowed a pen. Two hours later, curious about where Sima had gone, his brother
went looking for him. He returned to the now empty family house and peered in
the window. In the middle of a dark room, hanging slack and still from a noose,
was Sima. He was dead. His suicide note read:
My life is coming to an
end at this time. Now today is a day of sorrow for myself, also a day of
suffering for me. But it is a day of celebration for Papa. Today, Papa sent me
away. Thank you for loving me so little. Sima.
Give my farewell to
Mama. Mama you won’t have any more frustrations or trouble from your boy. Much
love from Sima
People who end their lives or attempt suicide
might be trying to escape feelings of rejection, hurt, or loss. Others might
feel angry, ashamed, or guilty about something. Some people may be worried
about disappointing friends or family members. And some may feel unwanted,
unloved, victimized, or like they're a burden to others.
We all feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions or
situations sometimes. But most people get through it or can put their problems
in perspective and find a way to carry on with determination and hope. So why
does one person try suicide when another person in the same tough situation
does not? What makes some people more resilient than others? What makes a
person unable to see another way out of a bad situation besides ending his or
her life?
Resilience is the capacity to cope with, and
bounce back after, the ongoing demands and challenges of life, and to learn
from them in a positive way. In the presence of a supportive community and
access to valued resources, a person is assumed to be the best judge of what
they want in life and should have the power to both define and determine the
outcomes of their lives and be resourceful in the community. If someone is not resourceful
at any one time it could be because of; poverty, past or present mental illness
or sexual abuse. In many places suicide is a common place, triggered by the
smallest of incidences .Sima took his own life because his father yelled at
him. In many societies, teens commit suicide because their parents refuse to
give them a little more money for recreation or because they saw their
girlfriends with another boy.
Many young people feel the world does not
respond to what they have to offer or that they don’t have the competencies to fulfill
the world’s expectations or requirements. They feel badly about themselves –
they have low self esteem or self-efficacy and their overall sense of the world
is negative. It would be reasonable to guess that many of the young people
committing suicide also feel marginalized, isolated, not listened to, and
inadequately supported.
Sima will almost have had a significant degree
of latent resourcefulness- of potential inner strength. What was needed for
Sima was an appropriate and supportive resourcing environment which would have
allowed him to realize and experience this resourcefulness.
No comments:
Post a Comment