Fear of Missing Out

 

In case you didn’t have enough to worry about, there’s a new mental health syndrome on the horizon with a funky acronym. It’s FOMO: the Fear of Missing Out. Missing out on what other people are doing…they’re having exciting experiences that you’re not. They attended the hottest concert in town and you didn’t and so on and so forth.

FOMO is especially strong for those who are hooked on social media because they’re constantly aware of what others are doing. Visit Facebook and you’ll view your friends’ faces with ecstatic smiles. Read their posts and you’ll find gushing descriptions of their awesome adventures. Person after person is having the time of their lives. And you? Well, not so much. Do you check your social media posts so frequently that your spouse (or even your kid) complains that you’re not listening? Do you go on the defensive, saying, “I am listening,” even though your eyes are still glued to the phone? If so, it’s time for you to listen up. Your loved ones have a point. You can’t be fully there with them when your attention is divided.

If your fear of missing out is strong, it likely will spill over to your kids’ psyche. A 10-year-old boy I was working with was terribly unhappy with himself. “Why?” I asked. “Because I don’t always get the best grades,” he replied. “What’s so important about getting the best grades?” I inquired. “If I don’t,” this sweet boy answered, “then I won’t get into the best college.” “And if you don’t get into the best college?” “Then,” with tears in his eyes, he replied, “I’ll miss out on getting the best teachers, the best jobs, the best friends.”

Wow! What a burden has been laid on this young boy.

If your anxiety is triggered by the fear of missing out, here’s what you need to keep in mind to live a good life:

• Remind yourself that nobody’s life is perfect, even if it looks that way when you see all the great things they are doing.
• Let go of comparisons that stir up anxiety for you. Instead, focus on what you want from life.
• Don’t miss out on what’s in front of you for fear of missing out on what other people are raving about.
• You can’t have it all. You have to say no to some things in order to say a meaningful yes to others.
• Relax, enjoy and appreciate what you do have instead of always looking at what others have and feeling bad about yourself.

Originally appeared on http://psychcentral.com